My pastor preached today, "You have such worth that Jesus came to die for you." [1a]  Is this a truthful teaching from the Bible?

I was reading the titles from a counselling section of my library and others that I saw in the counselling section of a Christian bookstore. They reveal how the "self" has been redefined in the church, but especially in the modern counselling movement. Some examples are: Love Yourself [2], The Art of Learning to Love Yourself [3], Loving Yourselves, Celebrate Yourself, You're Someone Special [4], Self Esteem: You're Better than You Think, Self-Esteem: The New Reformation[5], You Can Learn to Like Yourself, The Sensation of Being Somebody: Building an Adequate Self-Concept [6], The Christian Looks at Himself [7], Building a Child's Self Esteem, Your Better Self, Improving Your Self-Image[8], Don't Blame It All on Adam, Self-Love: The Dynamic Force of Success[9], The Danger of Self Love: Re-Examining a Popular Myth [10], One of a Kind: A Biblical View of Self-Acceptance[11], The Biblical View of Self-Esteem, Self-Love, Self-Image [12].

I am concerned over the dangerous teaching on the self that is rampant in our secular society. It is like a deluge at many of the counselling and welfare workshops I attend, but I hear the same from Christians with whom I speak, Christians who come for counselling, and from some pulpits.

Leading Christian psychologist, James Dobson, wrote:

The matter of personal worth is not only the concern of those who lack it. In a real sense, the health of an entire society depends on the ease with which its individual members can gain personal acceptance. Thus, whenever the keys to self-esteem are seemingly out of reach for a large percentage of the people, as in twentieth-century America, then widespread "mental illness," neuroticism, hatred, alcoholism, drug abuse, violence, and social disorder will certainly occur. Personal worth is not something human beings are free to take or leave. We must have it, and when it is unattainable, everybody suffers. [13]

For women, the same Christian psychologist offers this view: "If I could write a prescription for the women of the world, it would provide each one of them with a healthy dose of self-esteem and personal worth (taken three times a day until the symptoms disappear). I have no doubt that this is their greatest need." [14]
 

I.    What is self-esteem?

Macquarie Dictionary (Australia): "Favourable opinion of oneself." [15]
Webster's Dictionary (USA): "Belief in oneself; self-respect, undue pride in oneself." [16]

Earned self-esteem: Evaluation of self that "people earn through their own accomplishments . . . [It] is based on success in meeting the tests of reality. Measuring up to the standards at home and in school" (psychologist, Barbara Lerner). [17]

Global self-esteem: "This refers to a general sense of pride in oneself. It is not grounded in a particular skill or achievement. This means that an underachieving student can still bask in the warmth of global self-esteem, even if the door to earned self-esteem is shut. Advocates say that this feeling of self-worth will inspire academic success." [18]

Robert Schuller defines self-esteem as "the human hunger for the divine dignity that God intended to be our emotional birthright as children created in his image. I contend that this unfulfilled need for self-esteem underlies every human act, both negative and positive." [19]

H. Norman Wright, Christian counsellor, defines self-image or self-esteem as:

"What do you think when you look in a mirror? How do you feel about the person you see? Are you satisfied with yourself? If you are, you have a healthy self-image . . . Our self-image is the 'map' that we consult about ourself. It is the mental picture of our self-identity. It is the 'I am' feeling of a person. We either feel good about or we dislike or even hate and despise ourselves." [20]

"Our attitude toward ourselves -- our self-concept or our self-image -- is one of the most import things we possess. Our self-concept is the source of our personal happiness or lack of it. It establishes the boundaries of our accomplishment and defines the limits of our fulfillment. If we think little of ourselves, we either accomplish little or drive ourselves unmercifully to disprove our negative self-evaluation. If we think positively about ourselves, we are free to achieve our true potential." [21]

 

A.    What's the link between self-esteem and behaviour?

Well!!! Well!!! Is it the truth that high self-esteem means better functioning in life and less problems, and low self-esteem more problems? The California Task Force on Self-Esteem was convinced that esteeming oneself and growing in self-esteem would reduce "dramatically the epidemic levels of social problems we currently face." [22]

This task force said:

Based on their first-hand experiences most therapists, counselors, teachers, and other social service professionals have long been certain of a direct link between low self-esteem and these personal and social ills, but there had not previously existed any recognized academic evidence of this connection. Now that evidence is in hand. [23]

(1)  Crime, violence and recidivism.

(2)  Alcohol and drug abuse.

(3)  Welfare dependency.

(4)  Teenage pregnancy.

(5)  Child and spousal abuse.

(6)  Children failing to learn in school.

The conclusion is: "One of the disappointing aspects of every chapter in this volume . . is how low the associations between self-esteem and its consequences are in research to date." [25]
 
Syndicated writer, David L. Kirk, for the San Francisco Examiner, put it more directly:

But there's more! William Damon, an educational psychologist at Brown University, USA, warns that heightened global self-esteem can lead children to have "an exaggerated, though empty and ultimately fragile sense of their own powers. . . [and] a distrust of adult communications and self-doubt." [27]

But there's much more!! John Rosemond writes a weekly column in the USA. His column on 4^th December 2001 was titled, "Unearned praise leads to mediocrity." He refers to research by Professor Roy Baumeister (and others) of Case Western Reserve university. [28]   Rosemond wrote,

"Baumeister has found that people with high self esteem tend to have low self control. His excellent research lays the self esteem myth to waste. Criminals, he has discovered, do not suffer from low self esteem. They are not acting out their outrage at being oppressed, suppressed and abused. They are dangerous because they are narcissists. They believe that what they want, they deserve to have, and the ends justify the means." [29]

"While self esteem among America's youth has been on the rise for the last 30 years, accomplishment and responsible decision-making has (sic) been on the decline. Why? Because the sort of self esteem many America's kids are bloated on is not based on a realistic appraisal of their strengths and weaknesses; therefore, it does not lead to accomplishment. Rather, it is based on unconditional, uncritical acceptance of whatever they do and think; therefore, it leads to mediocrity.
     "One of the researchers, professor Jean Twenge of San Diego State University, in an interview with Reuter's Health, laid much of the blame on America's public schools, where teachers are often forbidden to send any and all 'negative' (i.e., critical) messages to children (including bad grades for bad work), and children are often encouraged to write and repeat 'affirmations' of the 'I'm special, no matter what' variety. . . 'Children should be praised,' Twenge said, 'but only when the praise has a basis in fact.'
     "Contrary to psychological myth, praise by itself does not produce high achievement. . .
     "Baumeister found that spouse abusers, gang members, and violent criminals all have high self esteem." [30]

Jesus placed the reason for "hatred, alcoholism, drug abuse, violence and social order" in a rather different area than low self-esteem. He said: "What comes out of a man is what makes him 'unclean.' For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean'" (Mark 7:20-23). [32]

A.W. Tozer points to the Saviour in reaching conclusions about the self:

"The victorious Christian neither exalts nor downgrades himself. His interests have shifted from self to Christ. What he is or is not no longer concerns him. He believes that he has been crucified with Christ and he is not willing either to praise or deprecate such a man." [33]

From where does this modern emphasis on self-esteem come?

 

Carl Rogers

Another prominent Christian psychologist, Bruce Narramore, was up-front when he stated the source of his self-esteem teaching -- and it wasn't from the Bible. He claims that "under the influence of humanistic psychologists like Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow, many of us Christians have begun to see our need for self-love and self-esteem." [35]

Even though it comes from humanistic psychologists who defend an anthropology that is contrary to the biblical Christianity, one Christian psychologist says that "this is a good and necessary focus." [36], [37], 38]

Psychology is redefining Christian values. Instead of increasing the self-esteem (or self-love) of the Hmong women in order to reach them, the apostle John says that love or esteem does not start with oneself before it can reach out. He writes that love originates with God and then moves to others:

"We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, `I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother" (1 John 4:19-21).

I pray that we will have more in common with the father of modern missions, William Carey, than we have with these psychologists or those who want to evangelise Hmong women through self-esteem.

Carey [picture to left] asked for these words to be inscribed upon his tombstone:

William Carey
Born August 17th., 1761
Died June 1834
A wretched, poor and helpless worm,
on Thy kind arms I fall. [39]

 

A.    What about loving yourself?

Please note very carefully that there are NOT three commands here -- only two, according to Jesus:

• First, Love the Lord your God;
• Second, Love your neighbour.

"Self-love is thus the prerequisite and criterion for our conduct toward our neighbor. It is the measuring stick of loving others which Jesus gives us. We find that the Bible confirms what modern psychology has recently discovered: Without self-love there can be no love for others. Jesus equates these two loves, and binds them together, making them inseparable." [41]

This is contrary to the Scriptures. Christ is very clear. There are only two commandments:

• First, Love God;
• Second, Love your neighbour.

"Jesus actually presupposes a love of self in this passage. He says, 'You must love your neighbor as yourself. ' The command is to love your neighbor as you already love yourself. The verse could be translated literally, 'You must love your neighbor as you are loving yourself.'" [43]

We already have an agape love for ourselves that influences our care of ourselves in many areas.

Jesus' estimate of our continuing love of ourselves is understood by the apostle Paul in Ephesians 5:28-29, when "he urges husbands to love their wives as you [are loving] your own body." Paul then states in v. 29, "For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church" (ESV).

Paul's entire argument revolves around that fact that "already exhibit love for ourselves." [44]

All proper loving, from a biblical view, is a giving kind of love, NOT an inward self-love focus. "God so loved the world that He GAVE" (John 3:16).

Galatians 2:20 (ESV): "It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

From God's point of you, "all proper self-concern will appear as a by-product" [45] of giving to others. "It is more blessed to give than to receive."

Let's get this clear, what you hear from the pop-psychologists on TV and the counsellors around the world that you need to have a good dose of self-esteem every day to keep the depressive disorder, criminal behaviour, and many other kinds of destructive behaviours away, does NOT come with God's endorsement.

We are commanded to:

• Love God with all our being; and
• Love our neighbour.
• WE ARE NOT COMMANDED TO LOVE OURSELVES.

I enthusiastically recommend two www articles that confirm this emphasis:

"Evil & Self-Esteem" by Roy Baumeister. [46]

"The Self-Esteem Fraud: Why Feel-Good Education Does Not Lead to Academic Success," Nina H. Shokraii-Rees. [47]

B.    One of the signs of the last days:

One of the signs of the "terrible times in the last days" will be that "people will be lovers of themselves…"

 

C.    We need to think like this about ourselves:

Don't overestimate yourself, but engage in "sober judgment" or "sober thinking." This is not talking about an intellectual exercise, "but the direction of [your] thinking, the way in which a person views something. . . in accordance with a true and objective estimate, the product of a 'renewed mind' (Rom. 12:2)." [48]

 

D.    We need to esteem others

Philippians 2:20-21: Paul affirms Timothy, " I have no one else like him, who takes a genuine interest in your [the Philippians'] welfare. For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ."

 

E.    Dying to self seems to be unfashionable these days.

I do not believe it is possible to die to self and elevate my self-esteem at the same time.
 

III.  The better focus: Encourage one another

1 Thessalonians 5:11, "Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." To encourage is self evident. To "build up" is a metaphor borrowed from the carpenter's world, where the person and the body are built up by a giving kind of ministry to each other. To build up another, you are serving the other. Barnabas was called the "Son of Encouragement" (Acts 4:36).

Instead of promoting self-esteem, I believe we should be encouraging one another and giving and ministering to one another so that the body of Christ is taken from basic foundational Christianity to maturity. We need one another. Instead of focussing on the self, God calls us to ministry to the other -- encouragement and building up others. Isn't this a ministry in which all of us need to be engaged? Quit the focus on self and emphasise the other. There are discouraged people in our churches. Others have not grown much and they need to be edified spiritually by our ministry of giving to them and encouraging them.
 

IV.    Whom does the Lord esteem?

The Lord declares, "This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word" (Isa. 66:2).
 

Endnotes:

¹ I am an Australian family relationships' counselling manager, doctoral student in biblical studies, an active Christian apologist, and may be contacted at: P. O. Box 3107, Hervey Bay 4655, Australia.
^1a Pastor Viv Morse, West Bundaberg Baptist Church, Bundaberg, Qld. Australia, preached on Sunday, 15 January 2006.
² Walter Trobisch: Self-Acceptance & Depression. Germany: Baden-Baden, 1976.
³ Cecil G. Osborne, The Art of Learning to Love Yourself. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan Publishing House, 1976.
⁴ Bruce Narramore, You're Someone Special. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan Publishing House, 1978.
⁵ Robert H. Schuller, Self Esteem: The New Reformation. Waco, Texas: Word Books Publisher, 1982.
⁶ Maurice E. Wagner, The Sensation of Being Somebody: Building an Adequate Self-Concept. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan Publishing House, 1975.
⁷ Anthony A. Hoekema, The Christian Looks at Himself. Grand Rapids, Michigan: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1975.
⁸ H. Norman Wright, Improving Your Self Image. Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, 1977.
⁹ Robert H. Schuller, Self-Love: The Dynamic Force of Success. Old Tappan, N.J.: Spire Books (Fleming H. Revell Company), 1969.
¹⁰ Paul Brownback, The Danger of Self-Love. Chicago: Moody Press, 1982.
¹¹ M. Blaine Smith, One of a Kind: A Biblical View of Self-Acceptance. Downers Grove, Illinois: InterVarsity Press, 1984.
¹² Jay E. Adams, The Biblical View of Self-Esteem, Self-Love, Self-Image. Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, 1986.
¹³ James Dobson, Hide or Seek (Revised Edition). Old Tappan, New Jersey: Fleming H. Revell Company, 1979, pp. 20-21, emphasis in original.
¹⁴ James Dobson, What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women. Wheaton, Illinois: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 1975, p. 60, emphasis added.
¹⁵ A. Belridge, J. R. L. Bernard, D. Blair, S. Butler, P. Peters & C. Yallop (Eds.), The Macquarie Dictionary (3^rd ed.). Macquarie University, NSW, Australia: The Macquarie Library, 1997, p. 1927.
¹⁶ Webster's New Twentieth Century Dictionary of the English Language (Unabridged): Collins World, 1977., p. 1646.
¹⁷ In Nina H. Shokraii.-Rees, "The Self-Esteem Fraud. . .": Why Feel-Good Education Does Not Lead to Academic Success," retrieved on December 8, 2001, from  http://www.ceousa.org/READ/self.html.
¹⁸ Ibid.  Shokraii.-Rees goes on to say that " The reality is different. At best, global self-esteem is meaningless. At worst, it is harmful" (ibid.). William Damon, an educational psychologist at Brown University, warns that heightened global self-esteem can lead children to have 'an exaggerated, though empty and ultimately fragile sense of their own powers. . . [for] a distrust of adult communications and self-doubt" (ibid.). The William Damon quote is from Damon's book, Greater Expectations, Overcoming the Culture of Indulgence in America's Homes and Schools. New York: The Free Press, 1995.
¹⁹ Robert H. Schuller, Self Esteem: The New Reformation, p. 15, emphasis in original.
²⁰ H. Norman Wright, Improving Your Self Image, p. 7.
²¹ Bruce Narramore, You're Someone Special, p.11.
²² Andrew M. Mecca, "Chairman's Report." Esteem, Vol. 2, No. 1, February 1988, p. 1, in Martin & Deidre Bobgan, Prophets of Psychoheresy II. Santa Barbara: EastGate Publishers, 1990, p. 120.
²³ California Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem and Personal and Social Responsibility. "Second Annual Progress Report," January 1989, p. 7, in Bobgan, Prophets of Psychoheresy II, p. 122.
²⁴ Andrew M. Mecca, Neil J. Smelser, and John Vasconcellos, eds. The Social Importance of Self-Esteem. Berkeley, CA: University of California Press, 1989.
²⁵ Ibid., p.15, in Martin & Deidre Bobgan, Prophets of Psychoheresy II. Santa Barbara, CA: EastGate Publishers, 1990, p. 122.
²⁶ David L. Kirk, "Lack of Self-Esteem is Not the Root of All Ills." Santa Barbara News-Press, 15 January 1990, quoted in Bobgan, Prophets of Psychoheresy II, p. 123, emphasis added.
²⁷ In Nina H. Shokraii.-Rees, "The Self-Esteem Fraud. . .": Why Feel-Good Education Does Not Lead to Academic Success," retrieved on December 8, 2001, from http://www.ceousa.org/html/self.html. The William Damon quote is from Damon's book, Greater Expectations, Overcoming the Culture of Indulgence in America's Homes and Schools. New York: The Free Press, 1995.
²⁸ John Rosemond gives the reference to Baumeister, et. al.'s work in an article, "Violent Pride," in the Scientific American, April 2001.
²⁹ John Rosemond, John's Weekly Column, December 2, 2001, "Unearned praise leads to mediocrity," retrieved on December 8, 2001 from http://www.rosemond.com/.
³⁰ Ibid.
³¹ Ibid.
³² Unless otherwise stated, all Bible quotes are from the New International Version of the Bible.
³³ A.W. Tozer, Man: The Dwelling Place of God. Harrisburg, Pennsylvania: Christian Publications Inc., 1966, p. 72.
³⁴ News release, "Hmong," from "Within Our Reach," The Christian and Missionary Alliance, PO Box 35000, Colorado Springs, CO 80935-3500, USA, p. 2, emphasis added. The release was faxed from the Division of Overseas Ministries, to the Australian CMA Headquarters, April 9, 1996, and distributed to Australian CMA workers in April 1996.
³⁵ Bruce Narramore, You're Someone Special. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan Publishing House, 1978, p. 22, emphasis added.
³⁶ Ibid.
³⁷ For a recommended critique of the self-esteem movement and a promotion of a biblical view of self, see Jay E. Adams, The Biblical View of Self-Esteem, Self-Love and Self-Image. Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, 1986.
³⁸ Yet, Robert Schuller, under the influence of the integrationist view of psychology (and dare I suggest, a low view of Scripture) wrote: "I don't think anything has been done in the name of Christ and under the banner of Christianity that has proven more destructive to human personality and, hence, counterproductive to the evangelism enterprise, than the often crude, uncouth, and unchristian strategy of attempting to make people aware of their lost and sinful condition (Robert Schuller, Self-Esteem: the New Reformation. Waco, TX: Word Books, 1982, pp. 14-15).
³⁹ In Jim Owen, Christian Psychology's War on God's Word. Santa Barbara, CA: EastGate Publishers, 1998, p. 57.
⁴⁰ Martin & Deidre Bobgan have succinctly stated what they believe is influencing the church to succumb to the secular self-esteem doctrine: "Only through strained semantics, labored logic and exploited exegesis can one even attempt to demonstrate that self-esteem is biblical or even a part of the church tradition or teaching" ("Self-Esteem for Christians?" PsychoHeresy Awareness Letter, Volume 4, Number 3, May-June 1996, p. 3).
⁴¹ Walter Trobisch, Love Yourself: Self-Acceptance & Depression, pp. 11-12.
⁴² Ibid., p. 9.
⁴³ Jay E. Adams, The Biblical View of Self Esteem Self-Love Self-Image, p. 69.
⁴⁴ Ibid.
⁴⁵ Ibid., p. 73.
⁴⁶ Roy Baumeister, "Evil & Self-Esteem," retrieved on December 8, 2001 from http://www1.dragonet.es/users/markbcki/baumeister.htm. See also Roy Baumeister, Evil Inside Human Violence and Cruelty. W. H. Freeman and Company, 1999, ISBN 0-7167-3567-9. Baumeister "concludes that high self esteem rather than the popularly assumed low self esteem is a major source of criminality" (ibid.). Roy Baumeister is Professor of Liberal Arts at Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, Ohio.
⁴⁷ Nina H. Shokraii.-Rees, "The Self-Esteem Fraud. . .", retrieved on December 8, 2001, from http://www.ceousa.org/html/self.html. Shokraii.-Rees writes that "there is, in fact, almost no correlation between low self-esteem and any number of social pathologies, including poor school performance, drug abuse, and teenage pregnancy. . . One study has even shown that inflated self-esteem among adolescent black males can encourage violent behavior" (p. 1).
⁴⁸ Douglas Moo, The Epistle to the Romans (The New International Commentary on the New Testament). Grand Rapids, Michigan: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1996, p. 760.

" Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves."

Counselling Challenge
The Truth Challenge

Copyright (c) 2007 Spencer D. Gear.  This document is free content.  You can redistribute it and/or modify it under the terms of the OpenContent License (OPL) version 1.0, or (at your option) any later version.  This document was last updated at Date: 5 May 2007.